I attend a Shidduch group called Aleinu L’shadaich based in Five Towns. I was frustrated because I had a lot of names but they meant very little to me because I didn’t know them. I felt like I was shooting darts. I decided to make a singles BBQ in my house on July fourth. 10 girls -10 guys- very chilled. My daughter and her friend were very helpful. We consulted with shadchannim who had done this and with singles to hear what they wanted. It was easy getting the girls, the guys were a bit harder but with S”D we had 13 guys and 11 girls. They were likeminded, similar hashkafas, and all were helpful and polite. It was amazing and they all had a wonderful time. After the BBQ I got in touch with each of them. I had two couples that wanted to go out and I logged them into 10K Batay Yisroel to give added zchusim all around. One couple didn’t work out and the other- my daughter’s friend who was so helpful, dated all summer -a guy that my daughter had previously dated and had convinced him to come to the BBQ. I attended the trial having the inside info that they were getting engaged. When I read that Rabbi Levin said that he checked the website during the trial to see if there were engagements- I was happy to send him the message that one was already being planned. This experience has taught me that not everyone loves the “Shadchan” experience, but there are other ways to meet and date. We had a perfectly kosher singles event with wonderful frum people who learn and grow and daven. They are also capable of making shidduchim by thinking of each other and setting each other up with family, friends, or other people they dated. It was a wonderful experience and B”H had a wonderful outcome.
Reading the ads and emails from the Kaplan’s and Levin families was very inspirational and it gave me the added push to just do it. Making the BBQ was a joint effort. We had people who recommended singles, people who offered to bring food, and all of the singles helped prepare and clean up. It was a great feeling to see how happy everyone was after an enjoyable evening. Everyone’s involvement should be a zchus for an aliya of Yisroel and Elisheva’s neshamos.